A Moving Manifesto
As I prepare for the next move, I find myself seeking out time alone to wander quietly through the house I have lived in for the past five months, saying goodbye I suppose as I allow my mind to process things to do and people to hug.
I notice myself eating at breakfast without reading as I normally do, my mind seems so satisfied with the sipping of tea and stirring of bsissa, the view from the kitchen window more than enough to take in.
One afternoon my entire to do list seems so unmanageable I follow my body to the floor where I sit and meditate. With wonder I watch as I feel the fear surrounding this ending surface. I see my thoughts as they scurry and question and do a to do list dance!
I sit through it all, my breath like a hand holding mine ensuring that I don't follow the trail of a thought for too long.
Eventually fear unbelievably shapeshifts into gratitude and unexpected tears, that are such a sweet release that I do not stop them though I am so surprised at their presence.
As each moment unfolds I come to understand that beneath the fear I am grateful for this next step. The adventurer in me is excited at all that I do not know yet. The writer in me is curious and the woman in me is longing to create a new space that is home that is love.
When I open my eyes I move as quietly as I can to my desk to write something down, knowing the quieter and swifter I am the less chance I have of disturbing the pool of words in my head, that will wait only for a moment to be written down.
And this is what I write down:
It appears to be a 'Moving Manifesto'...I discover as I write that what I am grateful for I have already chosen.
I choose how I spend my most valuable gift; time. I choose this man with every bit of my being. I choose to hold closely my family and where I am from. I choose friendships that are deep and lasting. I choose to keep learning. I choose self exploration and evolving everyday. I choose writing. I choose new experiences. I choose travel. I choose choosing how to live. I choose learning new languages. I choose yoga and moving my body from a conscious place everyday. I choose listening to my body. I choose unpicking my thoughts and working out with wonder what's what. I choose saying nothing over something when silence is better. I choose savouring quietness and alone time creating. I choose instinctively sharing. I choose the Divine in everything I do. I choose love over fear. I choose laughter, I choose nature, I choose good food,I choose spine-tingling music, I choose beauty in everyday life. I choose to say yes and no and mean what I say. I choose listening to my heart. I choose myself. I choose sacred and silly and sweet and sublime and sexy and surrounded by choices and search parties for grace when there's none.