Bride To Be Runs To The Woods (and other stories)

~The wolf that I walk to when the wild soul has got lost in wedding madness~

~The wolf that I walk to when the wild soul has got lost in wedding madness~

Right now my mind is a creative mush of wedding planning! I am a yoga teacher with only one asana on my mind…bridetobeasana. It’s a pose I’ve wanted to do for ages, but now I’m doing it daily, it feels quite different than I thought it would. I’m beginning to realise that the wedding day is only one part of getting married. This run up to the big day is of equal importance and 100% part of truly saying I do. It’s a challenging time of old patterns and new questions, of ego versus heart and soul battling the mind.

It feels so appropriate that before we make this commitment to each other, we are living together properly for the first time in a new city; we have minimal furniture and know minimal people...there is no where to hide! I am discovering so much about my partner and understanding him more and more. And in turn he is learning more about me, further informing the decision we made together those many months ago. 

It’s a time of arguments about small stuff that is the result of questioning big stuff, and me blurting out at least three times so far ‘do you actually want to get married?!’. It’s a time of of tasting two cultures, two families coming together and a balancing act of staying true to ourselves as well as pleasing those around us.

Creating a day to share with those I love, for me has been a time of immense creativity. I have been fuelled by the immense support and enthusiasm of the people we will celebrate this next step with and whose support we have asked for as we journey on as husband and wife.

The below poem floated into my head during a walk in the woods following a long overdue conversation with an old friend. For me it is a reminder that the soul needs nourishing daily and that being in the company of nature and people that see you for who you truly are, are two powerful ways in which we can return to ourself and discover the hidden pearls in the seabed of our soul.

 

The Pearls Of My Soul

 

I feel my mind a melting mousse

On the side,

Too liquid to be mousse really

In anyone’s eyes.

 

I feel my heart;

It is stubborn,

A ruby red stain

That just won’t come out.

 

I feel my soul desperate

To feed on

Anything but the junk

I’m feeding it now.

 

I feel my ego

It is haunting,

Made up of ghosts

From my past,

 

Through my body it floats

Seeking somewhere to hide

It fills me with fear

When it decides to jump out.

 

If only I could control it

This mish mash of parts

This human house

This human art.

 

Can I dive in the deep end?

Swim to seabed of soul?

Find the pearls that I lost,

Make a necklace just right,

 

That captures my soul,

Delights my heart

And sparks my mind.

 

I would wear it forever,

Even in bed it would glow,

I would wake in the morning,

The pearls of my soul ready to guide

 

My heart to its calling,

My mind to a task,

The ghost of my ego

No longer hiding and jumping, 


But friendly 

And willing

To play its own part.